Problem solved by someone else... but through our hard work.

Sometimes a tinpot emperor, minions and the citizens will share a problem.

Often this problem will be along the following lines.... One group of citizens want facility X whilst another group of citizens do not want facility X. This sort of problem where both groups of citizens claim "lifestyle issues" as pros and cons with said facility X causes an even greater problem for the minions and their emperor.

What are they to do ?

If they side with the pro group then the con group will be outraged and will have their lifestyle damaged irrepairably whilst if they side the other way then the pro group shall become bitter and twisted.

The other thing to be considered is the likelihood that should a minion or emperor climb down from the fence which is surrounding an ivory tower, there is a chance that when sliding off of said fence that once's arse may catch splinters hence the reason for the lack of leadership and clear, concise decisionmaking skills demonstrated by a certain group of elected officials.

Overall, it's just another tough decision and one that requires the leadership nouse of people who are paid in excess of $100,000 per year plus perks....



So when the leader of the SEQ Council of Tinpot Emperors announces that a trailbike facility will be built at Wyaralong then all is saved and we can live in harmony again ...

Or can we ???

The minions and their emperor are happy because they no longer have to side with one group of citizens and subsequentially upset the other citizens (quite aside from the burden of making a decision and maybe catching a few splinters in well padded regions) but will the facility really be fully utilised by those who currently ride trail bikes illegally ?

After all there is a facility on Stanmore Road, Yatala which is used less than it could be and then of course there is the issue of funding for said Wyaralong facility.

The leader of the Tinpots claimed that "a number of councils will contribute funding to the facility".

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/11/30/2757716.htm

Sounds fair.

But hang on a second...

This means that citizens who do not use a trailbike will be subsidising those who do.

I am sure that a Minion told me in an email that it was unfair to charge citizens for a service which they did not recieve and so I look forward to the minion and his fellow minions and emperor making no contribution of my rates money to the funding of this or any other trailbike facility.



Sometimes a tinpot emperor just can't win.

Take for example when I recently brought my family and a guest from overseas to the Beenleigh Carols Service. Without any prompting from myself, our guest made a comment regarding a certain "Lady in Red" that perhaps all that was missing was a street corner and a certain coloured lamp.

Regardless of said fashion comment, our beloved tinpot emperor recently made the pages of the state tabloid for knocking back a pay rise of potentially $4950 per year or 3%. Good Luck to her that she is in a position where a couple of g's (after tax) won't make much difference to her and besides it perhaps provides her with a "high moral ground" as the "people's tinpot emperor" when next she faces the sack at the hands of the citizens.

http://albert-and-logan.whereilive.com.au/news/story/175k-is-enough-mayor-knocks-back-pay-rise/

Unfortunately the deputy minion is doing it tough on just $120K+ per year and will take any increase he can get as "my pay's been going down". Next time I see said deputy tinpot at the TAB, I will offer him my handkerchief and maybe even lend him $5 to tide him over.

Fortunately though our glorious people's tinpot emeror reassured us all with the comment that the proposed 3% increase would have a "minimal effect" on the budget.



What a relief !

Education and Consultation in secret

On a regular basis, Tinpot Emperors and their minions make announcements and issue press releases. Sometimes these amount to little more than fluff and self-promotion, but at other times, useful information is provided to the citizens of the empire.
In accordance with this theory, the local Town Crier carries a page near the start of each month called "What's on in your city" which lists useful information like School Holiday and Christmas Carol activities. It also lists details of Kerbside Cleanups and Free Immunisation Clinics.

This week also saw the appearance in 97,000 letterboxes across the empire of "Our Logan" and also claimed that it is our "City Magazine". It is also a fluff and self promotion document which devotes 1 page to each of the 11 minions and also a page for the Tinpot Emperor. The remainder of the pages are a brightly coloured mix of advertisements, propaganda and announcements the likes of which are also listed in the "What's on in your city" portion of the Town Crier's page.

Interestingly on one page of "Our Logan" there is a suggestion that each copy costs 40 cents to produce and deliver. So this means that the citizens pay a total of approx $38,800 for the minions to rehash the fluff pieces and useful information which has already been circulated by the Town Crier.
Thus the average citizen could reasonably expect that the Emperor and minions would be right up to speed with the theory of how to circulate information to all of the Citizens effectively and efficiently.

But recent events would suggest otherwise.
Whilst information regarding kerbside cleanups is widely circulated by the aforementioned means, there is no mention anywhere other than on the Empire's website regarding Free Tip Days. For those who were unaware, Free Tipping Open Day for all Logan residents are this Sunday December 6th and then Sunday June 6th 2010. This means that there are two days of the year when former BSC Empire Citizens can pretend for a short time that they are back in the good old days again because the Logan Empire makes residents pay to use the Tip.

So why is it that the Logan Empire does not wish to widely publicise the existence of such things ?
The cynical citizen might suggest that perhaps if there is a low usage of such things then it is easy to discard on the basis of low usage .... nobody cares etc etc....
Simple easy to implement concepts such as issuing "1 or 2 Dump at Tip for free passes" with a rates notice (as is done in some other empires) would upset said plan and perhaps even cut down on revenue from Tips ....
and we can't have that !!!

Similarly a minion (who once was Emperor) is lacking in a few rather basic communication skills and has upset many of the citizens particularly those who were once in the BSC Empire.

On November 11 in the Town Crier's document the minion claimed that the empire had got things right regarding new rules about citizens parking a truck on their own land. In the old empire this did not incur a fee but in the brave new Tinpot Empire of Logan apparently the act of letting you continue to live your life as you had done previously is an actual service which may incur a fee (cash grab/tax). A cynical citizen might suggest that this fee is no different to any other fee charged by the empire as there is often little or nothing to show in return for monies paid at rates time.

Not content with bothering the truck drivers, the same minion ( Nov 25) has launched a door to door search for revenue sources promising to fine bad and evil people $200 if they had failed to register their dog.

The reason for the door to door search ?
Desexed Cats must be registered by June 30th 2010 and not enough people have registered their cats yet despite the fact that this is not mandatory for another 6 and 1/2 months.
Minion Tough Guy has also said "We have tried and tried to educate cat owners about their responsibilities and reminded them that fines will be imposed when the amnesty is over but not enough people have responded".

So let's just get this straight for a moment...
a) Desexed cats must be registered by June 30th 2010.
b) Not many cat owners have registered their cats despite the fact that if their cat is desexed, they are not required to register it for anoher 6 and 1/2 months.
c) As a result of cat owners not doing something which they are not required to do for another 6 and 1/2 months, there will be a door to door inspection of every property in the empire in search of unregistered dogs.
d) Apparently the empire is so determined to fine citizens that they will employ extra witch hunters to deal with the workload of writing out fines.
e) The Empire has apparently tried and tried to educate the citizens about this, despite there not being a single article about the new rules in the month prior to the article quoted.
In fact, there have been no articles since, there is very little information on the Empire website and there is no mention at all in the fluff and self promotion document "Our Logan".

A cynical citizen might think that it is all just another fee for no real service (cash grab/tax), particularly if the fees for registering a cat in the Logan Empire were compared to the fees in other empires which are nearly half the cost of those in the Empire of the People's Mayor.
A cynical citizen might also be concerned that the witch hunters may also have instructions to search out other potential revenue streams (excuses to issue a fine) whilst hunting down dogs because cat owners failed to do something which they did not have to do.

Of course there are the other effects of the cat registration scheme ie a likely increase in each of the following unfortunate occurances kittens & cats being dumped, abandoned, killed and of course an increase in the number of feral and homeless cats.

But don't you worry about a thing because a minion who apparently has to have emails read out to him is "trying and trying to educate us"....
Aren't we lucky ???

Let's all work together as a team............... MY WAY !!!!

Sometimes a tinpot emperor has a problem with minions where they do not agree with the chosen path and stamp their feet before spitting the dummy and screaming loudly.
This can happen in all types of empires even those that do not really exist.
On some occasions this situation can bring great mirth to the citizens as it often represents a tall poppy being cut down to size or maybe even just knocked down a few pegs with some embarassment thrown in for free.
Often the emperor will put on a brave face and make grandiose claims about the robust discussions involved with free thinking and try to arrogantly suggest that it may even be a celebration of democracy which could only happen in their political party/organisation due to said liberation, free will ... etc.
Of course, you cannot fool all of the citizens all of the time and thus it appears that a tinpot emperor at the top of the food chain but on the side which presides over little more than views which oppose the Grand Poobah has a few problem with revolting minions.
In fact the minions are so revolting that he may soon be just another former tinpot emperor like those who went before him.
Whether it be right or wrong is not for me to say but, the issue that vexes me most is that said moving target is under our employ, that is you and I and all of the citizens pay his wages.
And at the moment we are not getting much in return as he seeks to shore up his position and maintain his power over not very much.
At least he has not yet (to our knowledge) called in a "friend making" person in an attempt to control the minions when he is unable to. When his situation reaches that point, it is likely that he will have become a former emperor if not beforehand.
Our own tinpot emperor (the one who declared herself to be the people's mayor) has been struggling with one of the duties related to ruling an empire.
Whilst she may well be the citizens' mayor (well, for those who voted her in), not too long ago it would appear that she was struggling so much in her attempts to have her minions play nicely that she had to call in a "friend maker" to smooth things over.
Nobody really knows if the "friend maker" made the minions all sit on the floor in a circle and say something positive about the minion sitting next to them or, if they were forced to hold hands and sing Kumbaya, but what we do know is that the citizens picked up the tab.
That's right, because the tinpot emperor was unable to control the minions, we had to pay for someone else to make them play nice.
So just remember that each time tinpot emperor or a minion has troubles, it may well be amusing but we the citizens are the ones who pay for their problems in more ways than one.

Where do taxes and charges come from ?

Sometimes a tinpot emperor runs low on cash to spend on important things like redecorating a throne room or a new chariot or maybe something as simple as a course to form part of one's professional development.

Other times it might be necessary to raise funds because a revenue stream has been eroded or simply vanished...
Of course when this happens it is always due to either of two things
a) the revenue stream was taken over by a bigger more powerful emperor or
b) the tinpot emperor eliminated a low yield revenue stream in exchange for a perception of being a gracious and benevolent ruler.

In recent times when a revenue stream moves up the food chain a mysterious new revenue stream appears from nowhere and the blame for the new revenue stream is often blamed on a higher power.

A few examples of this include the proposals that all of a sudden citizens will be required to pay an annual fee (and sometimes an application fee) for the following privileges:
a) to park a truck on their own property
b) to have a cat on their own property
c) to have a swimming pool on their own peoperty.
In exchange for payment of fees citizens will recieve the following privileges:
a) permission to continue to park a truck on their own property
b) permission to continue to have a cat on their own property
c) permission to continue to have a swimming pool on their own peoperty.

As an added bonus to citizens the tinpot emperor will send minions around to make sure that nobody else:
a) parks a truck on their own property
b) has a cat on their own property
c) has a swimming pool on their own peoperty
without having paid the relevant fees but always remember the following text from the tinpot emperor's manifesto...
"Utilities charges: usually consumer-based. In other words, they are charges paid for services received such as water, sewerage and rubbish collection."

It would appear that to the tinpot emperor and minions, giving permission is providing a service.

Here we are gathered....

Here we are gathered to pay homage to the Logan Council and all who are elected by the citizens to serve.
May their decisions be clear, concise and for the enhancement of the lives of all who live, work and play within the boundaries as set down by a balding man in an office far, far away.
May their plans be far sighted, positive and pro active.
May their fees, charges and hidden taxes be fair and reasonable.
May they create an environment where at the very least our lifestyles are maintained and hopefully improved and may the day come that we the citizens have cause to be grateful for the efforts of the elected few and the fruit of their labour.